So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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