Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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