Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
PANTIES FOUND
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
