He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
