You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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