I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize