We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
