what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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