Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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