thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
