Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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