Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A bitchslap is in order.
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