You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
