The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
