How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
