my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You were trust falling into bushes
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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