You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
