ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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