there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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