ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
