why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
