She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
