You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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