He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i now understand why vodka
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
