He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
