guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
