ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
