I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think your dad took our porno
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
