make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
