have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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