I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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