lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
