Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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