what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
