he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
