a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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