I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
