i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
