So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
