It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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