i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
