he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
