i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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