idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
