So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
