If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
