Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
