Four minutes until I can fart!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
