it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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