i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
