i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
