did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
