i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
