What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize