I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
