What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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