Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
