You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
