absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
