btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
