is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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