You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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