Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
