I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
